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Matchmakers and other dating-related experts say business is better than ever in the Charlotte area - from the Charlotte Observer.

By Kirsten Valle
kvalle@charlotteobserver.com
Posted: Sunday, Sep. 06, 2009

In a lot of ways, a recession is the best time to date. That's what Charlotte's self-proclaimed Date Doctor, Kristen Johnson,says, anyway, over coffee one steamy summer morning as she flips her long blond hair over a shoulder.

People are more creative, for one thing, opting for activities from dog-training sessions to library visits over traditional dinner-and-drink dates. It's finally in vogue to use coupons. Not to mention, “the top restaurants are offering fabulous deals,” she says.

In these dismal economic times, as banks crumble, 401(k)s melt away and unemployment reaches into the double digits, one area of people's lives seems to be thriving: love.

New dating services are cropping up around the Charlotte area, local matchmakers say business is better than ever and online romance-seeking sites are reporting record numbers.

Many singles have more time on their hands because they're not working. Or, if they're employed, they don't have much chance for immediate career advancement. Others simply want companionship in tough times. Whatever the reason, love, or the search for it, is often the place people turn when their careers and bank accounts fall into a tailspin, experts say.

“What is kind of a shock is that business is steady or even increased,” says Johnson, who has a degree in dating – specifically, a doctorate in premarital romantic communication from Northwestern University – and launched her Date Doctor matchmaking service in Charlotte about a year ago. “In times of economic concerns, people turn to other areas of their lives and try to enhance them.”

In Mecklenburg County, thousands have been laid off this year, and many others have faced dwindling salaries or stock portfolios. Yet services like Johnson's, which charges about $200 for the first meeting and $150 per hour after that, are going strong. Nationally, online services such as Match.com and eHarmony.com are showing record results.

Dating services have steadily gained popularity. Nearly half of singles surveyed by dating service It's Just Lunch said they planned to join a dating service in 2007. Now, experts estimate the U.S. matchmaking industry at more than $250 million.

In Charlotte, the market could be even stronger, because there are so many single transplants, dating coaches say. The city is consistently ranked in the top 30 cities for relocating singles, the male-to-female ratio is almost even and the population is heavy with professionals.

“After the initial shock of the economy, people pulled in their purse strings,” says Charlotte relationship coach Sheryl Spangler, who recently launched Heart & Soul Matchmaking. “Now, people are starting to relax and realize they have to go on with their lives.”

Spangler has been coaching for seven years and has seen a jump in inquiries, especially recently. Since she started the matchmaking service a few months ago, she has already lined up four or five clients.

The certified behavioral consultant offers clients a personality assessment and some tough advice: You're not going to meet anyone right away. It often takes four to six weeks to find a compatible match, usually from the company's database or networking in the community. Then, Spangler makes the introduction and gathers feedback.

“Everybody's a possible candidate if you're single,” she says.

At Chai Expectations, a matchmaking service for Jewish singles, business has also climbed, President Laurie Berzack says.

“I don't know that it's because of the economy or just that I've finally gotten to a point where it's just streaming in,” says Berzack, who started the company about three years ago. “But business has not gone down at all. People are really wanting to hunker down and be with the one they love.”

Berzack, who has a master's in social work and a “wonderful relationship” of her own with her husband, scans her client base and the community for matches and even works with other matchmakers around the country for candidates. She doesn't match people unless she thinks they could be in committed relationships or married.

“People learn a lot about themselves,” she says. “And I know they're meeting quality, Jewish, marriage-minded singles. There's a high likelihood of success.”

Success is just what people are looking for when their finances and careers are faltering, says Johnson, the Date Doctor. She noticed the shift in Charlotte-area clients around the beginning of the year, after the banking crisis hit home and Charlotteans began to feel more threatened by the economic woes.

Johnson, who came to Charlotte about a year ago, used to joke that she was going to end up “one of those late-night talk-show hosts.” She turned instead to dating coaching.

Johnson, who is engaged – that helps her business, she says with a laugh – is careful to distinguish her work from therapy or matchmaking. Her job, she says, is to help people develop a plan to overcome their anxieties and improve their dating lives.

She has about 15 to 20 clients per month, mostly men and women in their 30s and 40s who are returning to the dating scene after a divorce or breakup. She advertises and relies on word of mouth; she gets many of her e-mails on Saturday nights.

The coaching process begins with an application, and then a consultation that digs up the details of the client's dating history. Then she and the client design a program to improve, which usually lasts about three months.

Sometimes, the client will go on mock dates with Johnson or a male colleague. One client, who was too focused on finding “the one,” was instructed to go on 25 dates before committing to a second date with anyone. All of Johnson's recommendations, she says, are based on statistically proven studies.

“This is an experiment,” she says. “It's a chance for clients to try something they've never tried.”

Johnson expects the economy's effects to linger long after the recession is over. She thinks people will look to their social and home lives to fulfill them in “unprecedented ways.” The types of dating will continue to be less extravagant, too, she says.

In the meantime, she plans to help people navigate the new waters without their old fears.

“There's nothing like dating for bringing out emotions, good or bad,” Johnson says.

And unlike some clients, she loves dating.

“For other people, it's a very anxiety-ridden scenario. Part of what I teach is, it doesn't need to be a harrowing process.”

A version of this article originally appeared in the September issue of the Observer's SouthPark Magazine.

He said:
"I recently moved to Charlotte and was having a hard time meeting people. I met with Laurie in hopes of finding someone special. She was both professional and helpful, and I actually fell in love with the first person she introduced me to."
 
She said:
"Laurie removes all the difficulties and pressure involved in dating. She takes the time to find a truly personalized match for each of her clients, while making the process enjoyable along the way. Laurie set me up with a truly fantastic guy, and I couldn't be happier!" 
 
Hear from more of my clients at www.chaiexpectations.com!

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